I'm not good in making friendship.
Why?
Cause basically I l.o.v.e. to be alone. I enjoy to stay inside my room. I never complaint about eating alone. I have never spent a day of confusion alone when my hubby out of town. My brain seems to move on and rarely stopped. There's just something I can do. The thing about friends in my dictionary is...they can come and go as they wish. And the worse is, I could accept it gracefully. I never questioned 'why'. So when 'friends' appeared out of nowhere, I enjoy that moment *truly* I can do anything for the friends. I never calculate the gain and the loss. I just do my best and always be ME, cause I perfectly know that someday the friends that appeared out of nowhere, they will make decision by their self, they disappear as fast as (may be not too fast) they have appeared.
Sunny Day by Children of China
Let me recall my childhood, how many friends that I had. I mean I share everything with them, talked about secrets of our heart, help each other with homework and exams. Eemmm..I just pop-up with two names only *sorry* Memed Effendi and Choirul Imam Sofi'i. These two buddies accompany me from kindergarten to high school. After high school we loss contact. Until now.
I can say, grown-up is not easy. The rhythm of 'come' and 'go' more quickly and often occurs. The scenario is pretty much the same but I do it with many different 'friends' : hang out, go shopping together, go out and have fun, talk about relationships, discuss about career plus hobby, and perhaps the occasional existential crisis. Although they come and go, I couldn't imagine my life without them. They decorate my life journey. And I Thank You for that. If you ask me with this kind of question - Do not you feel weird? Many people come and go, it turns out the problem is yourself, don't you think - Well, I don't crave the approval of someone who just don't like me. It seems like a lot of people love having opinion, which is great, but I don't always need to hear it. Doing this - not to hear, is hard. Because there are some things I can't change about myself *sorry*
Coutry Road Trip by Margret Marys Place
So...do I have friends now?
Yes of course I have. My world define into two - on real and on screen. My screen friends scattered to the corners of the earth. My real daily life friends...well...can be counted with my fingers *smile* and I blessed to have them in both world. My dream...I have a / friend / s that I can say out loud - pack your bags, find a cool destination, jump in the car and lets set for an epic road trip *L.O.L* That always be my dream to find that friend / s. What your 'great things to do together' dream? Let me know...
